Many of you know that I am an avid blog reader...but what I've realized in the past year or so is that I am truly a blog stalker.  I never comment.  Okay, so not never, but very rarely.  I hate coming out of the internet shadows to identify myself.  Maybe that makes me some sort of Sherlock Holmes villian (I just watched that last night)...or maybe it makes me a ghost...or like Batman, who also lurks in the darkness of night.  :)  I should change my title to just "stalker."  haha.

Anyway, I wrote about a character awhile ago who was afraid of becoming invisible at her high school.  She wanted to be noticed, she wanted the attention.  She wanted to become somebody.  That character was based on me...and I mean truly based on me.  After all, every character has a little part of you in them.  But Emily is me in the fiction world. 

It made me think.  Why the paradox of feelings?  Wanting to be noticed and not wanting attention at the same time.

As a writer, I have the urges to want the fame and fortune of J.K. Rowling, but at the same time, I wouldn't care about the fame and fortune so much as the humble admiration.  Knowing that my words and characters have changed one life and made a difference.  Jane Austen used to write anonymously.  I would love to do that.

I've no answers for my inner Emily Lin, but I will probably continue to stalk blogs.

Edited:  *gasp*  I've been writing about her for 6 years(!!!)...what the what!

On July 4, Paul and I celebrated our 4th anniversary.  I know...4 years already...where did the time go?  In some ways, I feel like I'm more in love with him than ever, but at the same time I know there's been a process that I went through to get here.

We are different people now than before...meaning that we've both changed.  Our personalities are the same, our physical appearances are the same, but our goals have changed, our lives have changed, our ideals have changed.  We've learned to communicate better.  We've learned to let the other go about passionately on his own.  We've let each other breathe as individuals and yet have stuck closely to each other.

I said at the pre-release party, sometimes I feel like I've become less innocent and less hopeful as I grow up.  But at the same time, I think Paul tries to keep it there for me.  Like I *need* innocence and hopefulness to survive.  For example, he teases me about my lambie obsession (how I love them and think they're cute and refuse to eat them) and yet he still hasn't had lamb meat in a LONG time.  hahaha.

That's love.

Happy Anniversary.

There's always a reason to celebrate when it reaches Memorial Day.  It's the first holiday I get off since New Year's Day.  Seriously, the five-month (almost six-month) stretch is such a killer!  But, woohoo!  VACATION.  and of course, I'm not doing anything much, just hanging out with family.  ah, paid vacation, so nice.

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Remember last year when it was FREEZING and RAINY at my brother's graduation?  How funny was it that it was rainy this year, too?!!  I drove past Highland High last night on my way home and all the parents had umbrellas and all that while crossing the street...I couldn't help wondering if Highland did the Rainy Day plan, where the student body would be split in half: one half to the auditorium, the other to the gym.  Who knows.  The stadium lights were on, so i'm assuming they forged ahead and the graduates got soaked...again.

So, i'm wondering if next year will be rainy, too?  Keep it in mind, guys!

Also, I found a back way onto the Highland campus, from our neighborhood.  So cool.  When we have kids and they go to Highland, they will have an easier way to get there.

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Speaking of high school, I got a notice for my 10-year reunion.  It costs $89/ticket!!!!!!!!  who in their right mind wants to pay that much for dinner and socializing?  NOT ME.  I think it would be fun to see old classmates, but seriously...$89.

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School is officially over.  Providence's graduation is this coming Tuesday.  It's exciting.  This year there are four girl graduates.  Since Paul has been at Providence, I've realized how cool it is to go to a small school.  It's so much more personal on graduation day.  You really know all your teachers and they really care about you.  Anyway, there are pluses and minuses to private Christian schools.  This is definitely a big plus.

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I've joined a book club.  My small group ladies have formed one with some other women at church.  I'm really excited to be participating in a book club again.  In college, a group of friends and I started one.  We all took turns choosing a book and leading the discussion.  Mine was The Westing Game.  It was fun, but life got too busy and we stopped.  And one of my roommates thought it was so dorky.    Whatever.  Anyway, we're reading Reading Lolita in Tehran, if you want to follow along with us.

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On the book publishing front: I finally submitted it for review (review is regarded loosely because they don't review content, only format) and now am waiting for the proof copy (that I got for free!).  I hope it looks great.

Happy Long Memorial Weekend!